Saturday, December 31, 2005

New Year! New Episodes! Whee!

As the New Year fast approaches, clink your champagne glasses in the fond knowledge that new episodes of "House" cannot be far away. :-)


Two New Year's Eve Parties are in full swing and everyone (everyone) looks fantabulous.

Carly throws a huge New Year's Eve party at the MetroCourt. People slide in and out but the only really important things that get discussed are:

1. Apparently Jax is not off the hook for swapping the first DNA test that showed himself as the father of Courtney's baby or for the malicious running over of the Evil Dr. Meadows. This information is exactly what Luke used to blackmail Jax into giving Carly 50% ownership in the MetroCourt. (A deal our "White Knight" *cough* Jax is now trying to reneg on. Dick.)


2. Jason arrived with Sam as a favour to Carly. Then they immediately skeddadled home to a quiet, romantic evening ALONE.

At Kelly's Diner, Lulu (who is snarky, gorgeous, clever, endearing and wonderful....that's the character and the actress all in one nutshell) pinches a letter out of Georgie's purse and discovers it's a note to Diego in jail. (Diego: Played by the handsome man who was Alfredo the asthmatic cock fighting roofer in "Humpty Dumpty".)

Dillon is completely freaked. Georgie asks him what's so wrong with having a heart? The kid is in JAIL?! Dillon finally breaks down and yells at her, "I'm JEALOUS!"

After this outburst he turns his ire on cousin Lucas who is finally forced to reveal that he's gay and is an unlikely suitor for Georgie's straying attentions.

First, is Georgie really straying? She's had mad crazy chemistry with Diego, for sure. (The actors did, too.) But, for now, Servicchio is good and gone so what's the point? Also, both Dillon (the character) and Scott Clifton (the actor) are unbelievably cool and it strains the brain to think that Georgie would take the chance of losing him.

Much as I adore Lindze Leatherman, I do think the character of Georgie is the weak link in that relationship, though. Dillon is very mature about everything he's going through. Frex, he can't help being jealous but can fess up to it. Georgie is much more immature. Considering they are only supposed to be a year apart in age (actually it's more like five or six years), the gap is jarring.


At the ringing in of midnight, everyone smooches happily at both parties except Lucas who walks out of Kelly's alone and into the dark snowy street. Awwwwww.


That's it folks!

So, Happy New Year to the Blogosphere and Bring on Those New Episodes of House! (And, if I may be so bold as to ask one little favour, could the genius writers find a way to add a few GH references? hee)

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Good evening, Monkeyshines!

There has been so little going on over here in GH/HouseLand that the Great Web Owner in the Sky has given me a new little assignment. Actually it's not so small. Here's a clue.

So, until I get my sealegs over there, this place may be a bit quiet. It's not that I don't love you all equally. It's just that the show has not thrown me any bones recently. :-P

As far as plots go:

Carly throws Michael the Evil Child a birthday party. Sonny gives him a highly dangerous and inappropriate ATV. Carly and Jason warn Emily and Sonny off of each other, respectively. Jason is quite adamant. It's really a very clear and unusual ultimatum, "Leave my sister alone."

Jax is accused of running the Evil Dr. Meadows down in the parking lot of GH. (I had a flash to Anica seizing in the parking lot of PPTH, actually.)

Turns out he didn't do it. So who did?

Alexis deposes Sam about Manny and rags on her that she has no visible means of support other than Jason so the likelihood is that she's biased and her testimony is influenced by his desires.

Other than the whole incredible "I was appointed to represent him, Sam" business, Alexis is really being the voice of reason. I lurve her.

(Please don't get me started on how legally challenged this show is. Just run with it.)

Noah Drake is still rocking the "house" with his character and Springfield's acting. He gets drunk at the MetroCourt and lectured by his old flame, Bobbie Spencer, RN.

Well, son? I take a quaff now and then myself. But if I ain't lookin' for a lecture I keep it out of the lobby of the only swank hotel in town. Ya know what I'm sayin'? Yer bound to get grief if it's 10 o'clock in the morning and you're suckin' down a martini with standing orders to the waitress* to "Keep 'em comin'."

Seriously, man.

That can't be good for you.

Actually, now that I think about it, Noah looks more and more like he's crying out for help.

Could the writers have that much foresight?




And that, my lovelies, is the entire three day synopsis. Sad, huh?

I promise to keep y'all updated as we go along.

*Speaking of the waitresses/ers at the MetroCourt what the HELL are they wearing? Jax had a drink at the bar the other day and the male bartender was wearing something that looked like it came out of "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover." Don't get me wrong. I love that film. But the costumes are kind of, er, remarkable. And hats off (hee) to Helen Mirren for being able to pull that outfit off without a hitch. God, I adore her. Even if she did make some desparaging remarks about the most beloved city of my birth and home the other day. Hon? We're just a little suth'rn village with a lot of unwanted guests.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Boxing Day

Happy Boxing Day to One and All!

Cap has sprained her thumb (stupidly trying to get her brush through her wet hair, GAH, who knew?) so, during this season of Love and Forgiveness, she begs your mercy on her terrible typing.

Just felt the need to get over here to the BlogoSphere and tell the Cast, Crew and Every-Little-Body on both the "House" and the "General Hospital" Teams how much I've appreciated them over the past year.

Thanks to both Mr. C for his patience and Best Friend for her willingness to go through Season One of House from soup to nuts and her cunning, crafty eye. ;-)

BF? Shall we do Pride and Prejudice (the real one, with Colin Firth) again? LOL I'll even watch "My Ethnic Cleansing Racist "Elitist with No Reason" Horrific Greek Wedding" again. :-) 'Cause I love you.

And a very special thanks to the WebMeister who owns, creates, and devotes time and care to this marvelous site!!!!

Thank you all.

God Bless you and have a Happy New Year.

PS: I have a little prezzie in the works but I haven't heard back from the creative genius, yet. So just sit tight.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Happiest of Holidays, Everyone

Happiest of Holidays to everyone from me and my family!

We celebrate Christmas here in Capville so on behalf of all of us, we wish that you enjoy this Christmas Weekend and also enjoy whatever celebration you may have of your own. :-)

(Best Friend is a Pagan with a deep abiding interest in Celtic worship and adheres to Bhuddist theory. Best Friend's husband is Catholic. Between the three of us, we're all over the map, religiously speaking.)


GH today and yesterday consisted mainly of Christmas staples and tradition.

Go figure.

I'm guessing that the regular writers have had the week off for the holidays and the Emergency Backup Team is in the captain's seat.

'Cause the storylines have been great, tradition has been given a nod and the actors who've been around the show since it was a 1/2 hour black and white serial were brought out and paraded.


Tradition. Alan Quartermaine read the Christmas Story at the hospital for the little kiddies. Just so adorable. (But would it be so hard to read the King James Version? California-Lite is nasty.)


Jax got drunk and stumbled onto Courtney's doorsash. She puts him up for the night. She also gets a call from Nikolas who is snowed in somewhere in Europe. It's all made clear. She is over Jax and gently let's him down and is madly in love with Nikolas.

The baby moves.



"Um"ily convinced Dr. Kim to let Carly out of RoseLawn for Christmas.



Jason and Sam get to spend Christmas Eve night on the hospital roof being cute. But not before Jason goes to his Mother and Father during the kiddie party in the lobby of the 4th Floor Nurse's Station and tells them he loves them. (In his own hitman sorta way.)



Lulu deigned to wear the Elf Costume and showed up to give away toys.

Yesterday, she refused but then overheard her father, Luke, telling Skye that the first time he saw Laura, she was in an Elf Costume some 20 years ago giving out gifts to the kiddies.

Lulu gets a little weepy and gives in.


(That actress is amazing. I lurve her.)


Speaking of amazing! Who the Hell is playing Curly Boo? (Alexis and Sonny's daughter.) She's fantastic! I'm absolutely gobsmacked.

Honestly, this child has more personality in her eyes and mouth than my dear Steve Burton has portrayed in years.

Seriously, I love me some Jason but he's being unintentionally upstaged by a 5 year old.


And, as a segue into more expressive and incredible acting, the Drake Men are stealing the show. Rick Springfield is stunning as a has-been washed-up alcoholic neurosurgeon and the young man playing his (completely credible looking) son, Dr. Buttmunch, is quite probably the best actor they've ever hired.

His face is expressive and he lets it be so.

To wit: Noah Drake played the hospital Santa today. He was guzzling it down in the elevator and his son, Patrick, was the first to realize his father was soused.

He escorted him out and followed him to the lobby of the MetroCourt Hotel.

With very, very little dialogue the two of them got across 8,000,000 emotions and even showed that there were feelings left unexplained.

Patrick was devastated that his father was drunk. But he wasn't surprised. But he was remembering why Christmas is hard on Noah. But, it wasn't ~quite~ explained why. Then, with resignation in his eyes, he took the tumbler of scotch from his father's hand, put it on the table and left the room.

Noah, embarrassed that his son saw him this way, also showed gratitude that his son was willing to remove him before he did something stupid. He looked up with guilt as he was continuing to drink in the hotel lobby. He relinquished the glass to his son and got up as he watched him leave the room.

All of this with a minimum of dialogue.

It was worthy of an episode of House.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Why House Watches GH

I've been noodling this question for a while, "Why does Dr. Greg House watch a soap opera? Why General Hospital, in particular?"

A corollary question is, "Why does Dr. James Wilson join him?"

1. Why does House watch a soap opera?

I think it's because it's taboo, mainly. Like the BOUO, the decision making with the Magic 8 Ball, the yoyo, the "lying on the floor listening to music", the racial slurs, the snarky comments to people.....all of these actions are designed to get a reaction.

House watches, interprets and concludes.

That's what he does.

What better way to figuratively pin a butterfly to a corkboard than to stun people with inappropriate behaviour?

Add to the mix that he's an adrenalin junky (monster trucks, motorcycles) and we've got a man who simply loves the rush of getting yelled at. He loves to tease the inmates.

For years now, soap operas have been taboo for several reasons. First, they are aired during the daytime so the assumption is, if you have the time to watch one, you are unemployed. What began as the domain of the unemancipated housewife developed into the domain of the weak and worthless non-job-holder.

There was also a prevailing opinion that the actors in soaps were second-rate because what self-respecting actor wouldn't rather be in primetime, Broadway or film?

VCRs and DVRs (TiVo) have changed all that.

But the stigma still lingers.

So, to snub everyone and rub their noses in the taboo, House watches soap operas. (They are also addictive, Doctor. Another trait of yours.)

2. Why General Hospital, then?

Well, first of all House only goes for the best of the best. (GraveDigger, for example.) Regardless of what I think of the show, the Emmy Academy definitely thinks GH is the best. For a couple of years running now, the show has raked in the Emmys, not the least of which were Best Soap Opera and Best Writing. Its actors routinely take home the supporting actor statue and, occasionally, the best actor one.

The ratings, while not brilliant, are typically in the top three or four and are respectable. This fact tells us that the audience is agreeing with the top quality.

Okay, most of the audience.

Of course the most obvious reason is that it's the one set in a hospital. Contrary to popular belief, most of the show is set there. Even though it's gotten very mobular, you'd be amazed how many shootouts end up with people needing surgery.

Another good reason is that he enjoys diagnosing the patients along with the show's doctors. ("Maternity")

I have yet to be able to connect the snippets of dialogue they show us to House (either the character or the entire show) and I'm not convinced there is any relevance to the content.

3. Why does Wilson join him?

Although, I think Wilson has a bit of every reason House watches in him, I think the main reason is that he gets to hang with House. His watching is more a product of enjoying the companionship than actually caring if Carly and Sonny get back together.

Also, while I don't think Wilson would ever consider rocking the boat like House does, I do think he gets a perverse thrill watching House do it. He doesn't mind being a partner in this particular crime.


PS: I just received tragic news. The character of Courtney Matthews Quartermaine Morgan Jax is not dying a slow and painful death but is being recast with Erin Hershey. sigh One consolation is that she and Kelly Monaco can reminisce about their time together in the cast of GH-Lite "Port Charles"; a noontime half hour extension of GH that was cancelled a couple of years ago.

Ya know, this makes me want to add that I bet House not only gets a kick out of diagnosing the characters on the show but he probably enjoys getting inside the heads of the actors, too.

He does read celeb rags, after all.

(Again with the cocktail of "taboo" and "curiousity".)

I wonder what Laurie thinks of that trait. Does he really want to encourage his viewers to emulate House and try to get inside the lives of the actors? I'd bet not.

Tee-riff, now my brain feels like a Mobius Strip.

Wednesday's Child is Full of Woe

Today's theme was "missing mommy".

1. Carly is told she can't come home for the holidays. So, rather than raise Hell, Sonny acquieses and allows "Um"ily to handle the family. Great. What a bunch of heiferdust. Do the writers realize that they just castrated their leading man? Oh. Wait. Probably not.

2. Alexis has been "forced" by DA Durant, in abstentia, to defend Manny Ruiz in his post-brain surgery trial for all manner of nefarious activity. Alexis, oth, wants to go cut down a Christmas Tree with her husband and two daughters.

Nancy Lee Grahn, who is a certified daytime acting genius, totally sold the scene in which she interviews "Manny" with the intent of convincing him that she's a terrible choice for a defense attorney and comes away convinced he may well have been the victim of a brain tumour.

When she tells Curly-Boo (little Kristina) that she can't go tree hunting, my heart strings plucked out the Albinoni adaggio. O_O


NLG, I love you.

Not as much as I love David Shore.....but damned close.

(He's more my type, you see.)

3. Nikolas swings by the Quartermaine Mansion to give his little stepsister Lulu her Christmas present. Unable to wait, she opens it as soon as he's gone. It's a diamond necklace. As if the heart strings weren't tugged enough, Dillon asks her why she's weepy. She tells him that her mother, Laura (yes, THAT Laura) promised her she'd get a diamond when she was old enough to appreciate it. Lulu is amazed that Nikolas remembered.


I'm sad now.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

If it's Tuesday, it must be HughsDay!

Lame joke in the title. I know. But it makes me smile.

'Cause I'm twelve.

Not much in the House/GH realm today except to mention that Lisa de Moraes, the Washington Post TV Column writer, acknowledged House's success this week with a much cuter title than mine. To wit: "Not a Creature Was Stirring, Except to Watch 'House'."

What does that have to do with GH, you might ask?

Positively nothing.*

But it's nice to see because de Moraes is a tough person to impress. She can also snark with the best of them. So, to see her bother to create such a cute, seasonal headline means she bothered to take the time. That's gratifying.

Okay, on to GH yesterday. Some major plots moved forward and there was some terrific acting but not much else.

Manny Ruiz underwent brain surgery and Dr. Buttmunch kept muttering something about the "aggression" part of Manny's brain is what was being squeezed like a ripe plum, "No wonder this guy is such a freak!"

Nice CPD writers. I always like a little science fiction thrown in for extra flavour.

Eventually Manny comes out of his surgery and regains consciousness long enough to say, "I'm sorry for everything....."


(God, he's such a great villain, I hope he's faking.)


Reek is back and he and Alexis have some hilariously comical moments as Alexis tries to tell Reek that their two daughters shouldn't be hanging around with Sonny's kids. Too many goons hovering by the windows and doors, too over-indulged and too many shoot-'em-up video games. Reek thinks she's over reacting until Kristina pretends to shoot her sister, Molly, in her stroller.


(This "can't be around Sonny" business is problematic. First and foremost, he's Kristina's father. Which makes Michael and Morgan her brothers. Second, he's Reek's brother and, therefore, Molly's uncle. You can't just cut someone off like that.)


Oh for God's sake. "Um"ily is suddenly worming her way back into GreySkull.

She walked out, like, yesterday......all offended and acting like she'd been summarily kicked out.

She hadn't, really. Sonny had simply told her that she needed to get a freakin' life and told her they had enough help for the Holidays. Which they do. It's she who packed in 5 seconds and dragged herself out through the front door....complete with cheesy lingering looks back at Sonny who ~just happened to be standing under mistletoe.~


But, like a bad penny, she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.


(Somewhere along in here she told Jason she is falling for Sonny and she and Carly had some sort of convo in the elevator but I'm having a really hard time looking up from my Sudoku during these scenes so I'm not sure.)


The Teenybots' storyline is almost wrapped up. Diego is off to Pentonville. Dillon is in the hospital nursing a bullet wound to the shoulder, care of the BrainPained Manny Ruiz. Dillon and Georgie have the "Diego is a freak; No he's not!" discussion # Eleventy Million. But, that's okay because I enjoy watching soap couples snipe at each other but still stay together in love. Just like real life.

Um, anyway, I also enjoy seeing Clifton and Leatherman work together. They are great. (But, hey, Lindze? You can resume eating, now. You are a natural looker. Don't get too skinny, child. You'll make the baby Jesus cry.)


Lastly, the Jax/Courtney/Nikolas plotline has gotten so utterly revolting that I can't wait for Courtney's last shooting day, December 23. Hopefully that's not a rumour and there is no recast.

Please get rid of this horrible character?

Come on. It's the Holidays! Just a little giftie? I'm not asking much, really.


*NB: How can "nothing" be positive, you well may ask? It can't. I just liked the way "positively nothing" rolled off the keyboard.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Short GH Recap

There is no House reference in either House to GH or vice versa so I'll just update the show. Ignacio Servicchio is still on so I have an excuse. (For those not in the know, IS is a regular on GH for a while more and was Alfredo in the House episode "Humpty Dumpty".)

Damn, that explanation is getting old.


So, Diego had a heartfelt farewell from his (hot) father Lorenzo Alcazar. Aww.

He's off to the Port Charles maximum security prison, Pentonville.


In various scenes just about everyone had a chance to confront Sonny and Emily about their blossoming (completely VILE) affection and tell them it's a mistake.

Let me add.

It's a mistake.

Not to mention completely disgusting.


Sam, that little vixen, tried to smother a strapped down Manny Ruiz but Jason stopped her before she could.

They make a GREAT pair o' hitpeople.


The paternity test for the world's sleaziest 20-something (also known as Courtney) did turn out to be in her husband's favour.

What does it say about the writing that we're supposed to be sorry about that?

Wrong on a lotta levels, ain't it.

Note, that's not a question.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Arrested SQUEAL Development

So, I got home after watching the football game with Best Friend and Husband of Best Friend.

Poured myself a little brown drink and sat down to bask in the glow.

Tucked my Arrested Development S2 Disc 3 in the machine and curled up on the sofa.

Next thing I know I'm squealing like a stuck pig.

There is a kind of amusing brother-in-law in this series who is a hopeful but failed actor.

During one little bit of exposition we see that he's had vanity plates made up for every part he thought he'd get.

Without fail he gets his hopes up and then either doesn't get the part or is immediately fired.

Vanity Plates in order:

INM8 2 for the role of "inmate #2"

BLUMN for the bit he had as a back up for the extra in the Blue Man Group

CONMN2 for playing "conman #2"



Too frelling funny.

That, along with today's events, made my entire weekend.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Saturday Night Live

Hello, all!

Just got back from a very, very fun fundraiser for Children's Hospital. Very Good Friend invited me and more than $3000 USD were raised. Kudos to all involved.

As for GH? Thursday and Friday were slow.

Diego's (Ignaccio Servicchio) trial ended, and as nice as Georgie, his hostage, was about him on the stand, he still got 10 years in a maximum security facility.

Of course, this allows our dear Cock Fighting Alfredo from "Humpty Dumpty" the chance to go and try his hand (LOL) at primetime.

I wish him all the luck in the world.


Carly is flaunting the rules at RoseLawn Looneybin and as her shrink says, "Using it as a hotel." BWAH!

She visits the trial of her stepson. (She's married to Diego's father but divorce proceedings are, er, proceeding.)

She visits Sonny and warns him of "Um"ily's crush on him. Bleh.

She visits the lobby of the MetroCourt Hotel where she tells her uncle, Luke, and the part owner (now), Jax that she wants all of the furniture changed and real flowers sent over.

Jax says no.

Carly balks but has to return to RoseLawn before she can get that little skirmish cleared up.


All roads lead to Luke's blackmail information on Jax being that Jax switched the DNA results on Courtney's teaspoon o' goop.

That is easy to believe until Courtney gets the results back and Jax walks in on Nikolas and Courtney about to read the answer.

Here's a thought, morons, wait until you read them. If they agree that the child is Jax', no harm, no foul. He need never know about the additional test.


They wave the manila envelope under his nose and tell him what it is all about but never get around to actually OPENING the damned thing.

Jax gets justifiably offended and leaves the room.


Jason suspects "Um"ily is falling for Sonny and warns her off him.

Sonny visits and Jason confronts him, too. Sonny denies it but promises his best friend he'll put the kibosh on anything that might be building against his own wishes.

Later, back at GreySkull, Sonny ham-handedly tells "Um"ily that Carly will be coming back for Christmas and, since they also have Leticia the nanny, "Um"ily's help is no longer necessary.

Inexplicably, "Um" decides it's time to leave. RIGHT. NOW.

She packs a fake, empty suitcase ('cause the actress is incapable of pretending it actually has clothes in it*) and heads out.

Tout suite.


*Sue me but it reminded me of Sela Ward with a "cup of coffee". Can't she even fake it has COFFEE in it?


That is so easy to do and it makes me crazy that she doesn't bother.

That's all, folks!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Mistake, GH

There were no GH references in The Mistake.

Amusingly enough, although GH yesterday was very slow for a Wednesday, Dr. Buttmunch did do a whole House-ian diagnosis of Little Doctor Robin.

I looked at Best Friend during the scene, rolled my eyes and asked, "Am I gonna have to change this blog from "GH References in House" to "House References in GH"?

Now, I hate to be greedy, but could these shout outs be a leetle more blatant, please?

I'd love that.


Just so y'all don't think I'm delusional, all GH is really doing is channeling the influx of primetime popular doctor shows. I've only seen Grey's Anatomy twice and it gave me a splitting headache. However, I'm sure the fact that we were introduced to Dr. Buttmunch as he was stark raving naked on top of a nurse on a gurney is an "homage" to Grey's.


As for the rest of yesterday's plot; it's pretty meagre.

Diego's trial is ongoing and makes utterly no sense. On the show, it's a full blown trial complete with opening statements and witnesses (direct and cross) but it's only a sentencing hearing.


The kid confessed.

In real life he'd be shuttled through, given mandatory therapy and community service.

"Get outta here! Next, please!"

So that silliness is ongoing.

Courntey had the DNA test done but we don't have the results yet.

I turned to Best Friend and asked, "Er, since this is a Miracle Baby, and DNA tests can't be the norm for it, why not just hold off until the bun is finished baking and do a DNA test on it when it's a few months old and healthy?"

Just a thought.

Remember, if you're ever in the market for dramatic tension, I'm fresh out.


Love, American Style.

Sam arranges a candlelit romantic afternoon for her and Jason into which Carly barges.

(Has Jason been cleared for liftoff?)

As mentioned above, Dr. Buttmunch insta-diagnoses the fact that Little Doctor Robin is still in love with her Hunk-o-rama exbeau, the self-same Jason.

Sonny is closing in on "Um"ily's dream sequences and (I hope, God willing) is about to put the kibosh on any romantic inklings she might have about him.


May I just take a pixel or two to explain the heated hatred I have for the character of Emily? It's WAY too long a rant but this mediocre actress won an Emmy last year.



But I'm not bitter.

Anyway, this mediocre actress is failing miserably in my book at pulling off this two faced evil child who is supposed to mirror Jason as the Saint of the Show.

The character, played by Amber Tamblyn, was flawed and fabulous.

Now, played by Natalia Livingston, she's a hypocrite who treats people like soiled tissue paper. They smell bad enough that she can't wipe that "ew" look off her face whenever she interacts with anyone.

I'm not going to go into the whole Zander/Nikolas thing but those of you who have been watching regularly know what I'm talkin' about.

Now, however, she's really taken the cake.

I can deal with the "ooo, I shouldn't be in medical school because the sight of blood makes me turn into a Night of the Living Dead Zombie". (I'm just waiting for the flesh eating bit.)

Emily? You're right and all those people propping you are wrong. You shouldn't be in medical school. Leave immediately. (Not that we've ever seen you there, ever saw you even finish college, ever saw you take the MCATs, and you're attending medical school clearly by hologram.)

But, you'll be a terrible doctor. Which, at best will make you miserable and, at worst, will kill people.

That's why they made police academies, law schools and seminaries. There ~are~ other professions in the world that are just as noble and for which you may be better suited.

In my dream of dreams, she runs off and joins the circus. Never to be heard from again.


I swear this is the end of my rant,but here is an example of her ineptitude. Carly is not just mental but is still in a mental home. She is still institutionalized. And in the one scene where she's trying to get over her Sonny addiction (yes, that's her diagnosis, no I'm not kidding) she hits Step 4 of the 12 (which I think is WAY too early in her recovery; that's a tough step and no one ever said you have to do them in order; but I digress, sorry.)


Carly is trying to do Step 4 and make ammends with everyone she ever thinks she hurt. So she invites Emily over and apologizes. Tries to play nice and be friendly.

A good doctor candidate (or a good human being for that matter) would take a look at the institutional surroundings and play along. To help Carly who is trying to get better. No matter the history of loathing between you.

If you weren't raised by wolves, you allow Carly to make a peace offering and bury the God-damned hatchet.

Does Emily do this?


She completely undermines what Carly was trying to do.

That's so wrong on so very many levels.

Then, she holds over Carly's head that she, Emily, can go home at the end of the day. Where does she live? At Sonny's. Taking care of CARLY'S children.


The same kind of setup happened just the other day in the lobby of GH. Carly was released to visit Jason. As Emily was leaving and saying goodbye to Sonny in the lobby, she tells him, infront of Carly, that she'll tell the children he loves them.

Carly asks her to tell them she loves them, too, and Emily seriously hesitates. As if there was a doubt she'd tell them.

That's just frelling cruel.

Problem: This is all unintentional cruelty on the parts of the writers. There is no evidence in the writing or THE ACTING (Nat, I'm lookin' at you) that Emily is being anything other than her wonderful self. Even though, the objective view shows that she is a selfish and cruel witch.


Phew. That felt good.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Now We're Talkin' Soaps!


TWO soap comments last night! Yee Ha!

I just got an email from Best Friend who pointed them both out to me...the obvious one and the much more subtle one that I missed! :-)

The obvious one was right at the end when House mentioned that having Foreman in charge gives him more time to watch his soaps. LOL

The subtle and REALLY COOL one was when House and the Ducklings were talking about the 9-5 grind.

House mutters under his breath, "Well, I only work nine to three...."



David Shore, I now, on the Internet and for all to see, announce that I love you.

I truly, madly, deeply love you.

Honestly, I think the hormone level just spiked in this room. It could be just that I haven't recovered from last night's motorcycle ride but I don't think so.

Because I'm twelve.

*For those playing the home game, three o'clock is when General Hospital starts on the East Coast of the US.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I'm Dreaming of a White Board!

Okay, I know I'm reaching (again) but today's GH included not only a snarky doctor "evaluating" the life of a peer just by looking at her but ALSO included a WHITE BOARD.

I've got to quit taking so much Vicodin so early in the day.



Snarky young Dr. Buttmunch "evaluates" the Littlest Doctor Robin.....He just looks her up and down and spews off the details of her pathetic, lonely life.

She, while not denying his "diagnosis" asks him why he's such a jerk.


Jason, from his bed, has a raprochment with everyone that ends in a private smooching scene with Sam. (Mr. C can just stand down, right now. Back, man, back.)

The true rocket scientist, Courtney, after talking with Nikolas (Tyler Christopher is back), figures out what it is that Luke might have over Jax. She and Nikolas go to Mercy Hospital to get another DNA test.

Funniest line of the show? Nikolas warns, "As long as we keep away from Doctor Meadows."

No shit, Sherlock.

The WHITE BOARD comes in at the PCPD. Lulu has this positively hilarious scene wherein she charts out the relationship between Luke, Tracy and Skye and how she's stuck in the middle as a pawn.

It was frelling hilarious and that actress deserves the Daytime Emmy right now. Just give it to her or there will be trouble.


Funniest line in Capville today? My sister, niece and I are getting manicures and pedicures on Saturday. I asked Sister specifically where the salon was and she said, "Across from the Starbucks."

I defy you to stop laughing.

Monday, December 12, 2005

A GH Shout Out to Steve!

Okay, maybe I'm grasping at straws but I think this was a totally meta shout out to our newest cast member, Steve McQueen*.

GH Today:

Carly looks through the window into Jason's operating theatre.

She sees this skanky, scary dude with lots of tattoos hovering around.

She wonders why he looks aimless. He's in scrubs. Shouldn't he be doing something given that the lights are out during BRAIN SURGERY?!

Being Carly, she races in where angels fear to tread.

It is, in fact, the eeeevil Manny Ruiz in a very wimpy disguise. (See earlier blog post.)

Sonny races in with his gigantic hand cannon waving like a maniac.

Manny whirls around and grabs Carly (not only does he know exactly who she is but she's also the only civilian in the room.) He holds a scalpel to her neck.

"Don't shoot, Corinthos, or she dies!"

"Don't touch her, Manny!" Gun waves. Sonny barks, "Don't you get it?! You're just a caged rat!"


I may be shouting now but there is no doubt that Best Friend heard me scream three miles away at 3pm-ish this afternoon.

ANYway, that made my day.



The rest of the episode was okay.

Luke has something over on Jax and has blackmailed him into giving Carly half ownership in the MetroCourt Hotel. There is some deal going on between Luke and Carly and it really doesn't matter to have it too pinned down plotwise because they are just ultimately going to betray each other. That's what Spencers do.

Luke's "wife" Tracy (Jane Elliott) had Luke's pilfering daughter, LuLu, arrested. She's 17. She shouldn't worry.

The record will be expunged unless she ever works for someone like Greg House who doesn't care about the police records and just sneaks around asking old gym teachers about her past.

Even then, who ~hasn't~ embezzled $15,000 from a stepmother's bank account?

Perspective, people.


Courtney, she whom the tree o' death couldn't kill, is fading fast at GreySkull when The World's Worst Medical Student, "Um"ily emerges from her living coma from the sight of blood and decides that MAYBE they need to get an ambulance and take the pregnant woman to the freakin' hospital.


Jax is already there because, knowing what Luke has on him, he wants to talk to the Most Incompetant and Evil Doctor Meadows, the OB/GYN.

Gee, wink wink nudge nudge, what could Jax want to hide?

Another WTD plotline?! ("Who's the Daddy?") Could he have switched the DNA results? Could someone ELSE be Courtney's cuddly little teaspoon of jelly's papa?

You decide.

Courtnoid is, in fact, okay but it's important for some reason that the Evil Dr. Meadows get in a wicked slam at the nurse who took care of her for not putting her directly on IV fluids. Correct or not, she's a bitch.

I guess she's getting paid by the lines and, well, it is the holiday season. People run up expenses. 'Cause otherwise? The line was just meaningless bitchiness.


Jason is out of surgery and finally wakes up to see Sam. He's pleased. So is Sam. The Littlest Doctor Robin watches from the door all wistful and thinking, "I'm SO still in love with him."

Gotta love the soaps.


In a nice nod to history, Nurse Bobbie Spencer has a little convo with Dr. Noah Drake in the lounge. Awwwwwww.


I think that's it.

Now I must go bask in the glow of the extra-stretch meta-shout-out to our own little Steve McQueen and House.

Why, I do believe a glass of champagne is in order!

Or maybe just a coumadin wrapped in cheddar cheese.


*(For those playing the home game, Steve McQueen is the name House gave to a rat he not only caught in Stacy's attic but diagnosed and is in the process of curing. Apparently the little guy has a tumour. During his convalescence, he's living in a cage in House's living room.)


What an exquisite episode.

My goodness.

Every line either had a double entendre within the show (House as a rat) or about itself "They'll call me formulaic." hee

Unfortunately, the show was so full of gorgeous writing and acting that there was no room for a GH reference. There wasn't even room for a Clinic bit which is usually where the GH watching takes place.

I'd say "bummer" but I'm still reeling from how good this was.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

"Hunting" Waaaabbbbbiiiitttttsssss

Good afternoon, my weebles!

I believe I'm up to seeing "Hunting" but I'm going to hold off until Best Friend can watch it with me. She keeps nagging me to bring over "the one where Cameron grabs Chase" so it's only fair that I watch it with her.

I haven't forgotten about y'all or the blog!

Now get out there and enjoy whatever holiday it is you celebrate around this time of year!

Friday, December 09, 2005

There's a STORM out there!

Fortuitously, after the East Coast of the US just suffered through two bouts of storms, GH happens to have one on the show.

Jason is under the knife with Dr. Buttmunch being watched over by his father, Dr. Noah Drake and the Littlest Doctor Ever. (They are even having Buttmunch make really snarky comments to her about her size and age. Too funny.)

Due to the snow storm outside, however, the power keeps going on and off.

The back up generator kicks in but.........the eeeeeeeeeeevil Manny Ruiz is lurking and goes downstairs to slam that thing into next week.

The doctors are reduced to operating on Jason via flashlight.


Stop me right here before I try to sue a fictional television show.

I think I'm getting a hernia.

But, because I love you people, I shall continue unabated.

Just run with it.


Jason keeps slipping in and out of consciousness.

Oops, gotta run.


I'll finish this up tonight.



Back now. Had to go see Tom Stoppard's "Hapgood".....great play.

So, where were we?

Ah, yes.

Jason is drifting in and out of consciousness because a) they can't monitor the amount of anesthetic he's getting and b) Young Doctor Buttmunch needs him to for some reason.

To see if his framistats are firing or something.


We get some dreamy Jason-Images but for the most part they are filler. The "girls" are fidgeting outside the surgery theatre.

Everyone is worried.

MEANwhile, back at the ranch, the Eeeeeeevil Manny Ruiz is lurking around causing trouble.

Lastly, stupid "Um"ily freezes when Courtney leaves GreySkull to go home and, honest to God, a tree falls on her. A TREE, people.

Courtney gets a HUGE gross cut on her leg and faints. One-armed Nikolas must help her while "Um"ily stares at the snow out of the window while nervously chewing her nails.


I'm not kidding.

Get that child out of medical school, like, yesterday.

What a waste of space.


Not a single GH reference in "Spin".


You over there!

Singer, Shore, et al. Get with the program!

How am I supposed to write about House and General Hospital when you don't give me material?

After all, you started this whole thing.



Shameless plug time.

If you have any interest at all in clever, witty writing you must go here:

I'm not a fan of fan fiction but Auditrix writes so bloody well that it's a pleasure to read. I think we could even debate whether or not it actually is fanfic. Some of it certainly is. But the majority of it is completely unique. Er, if pressed, I guess I'd call it fanthink.

Or just plain fan-tastic.

(Posted with Auditrix' permission.)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Real Tears, Dammit

Today I finally teared up. This stupid show.

Jason is going in for the surgery (to be performed by the buttmunch Doctor Son; more on him in a moment) and he and Carly share a moment.


It was really touching and moving.


ANYway, *Young Dr. Buttmunch is an arrogant, brilliant hospital diva with a perpetual 5 o'clock shadow.

Since House is the only doctor show I watch, I'm at a disadvantage but I'm betting he's channeling a lot of primetime drama doctors.

House is clearly one of them.

Along the lines of the other stereotype recently adhered to.....the bitchy, catty, attitudinous Asian Doctor Chick, I've read that GH is now hiring an Asian female doctor.


Lucie Liu, see what you have wrought?

It's toxic.


Turns out the "new" (and rather skeevy) doctor to do Jason's surgery is Dr. Drake's own son. With a 'tude.

Since he sees that Dear Old Dad was the first choice, he refuses to do the operation.

Now, I ain't no Doctor, but I think there's some, er, oath runnin' around out there that implies "do no harm".

Isn't refusing to do Jason's operation pretty much harming him?


I hope that Doctor disappears asap and becomes the CPD he was meant to be.

In other news, there was lots of cute Alexis/Ric home-oriented stuff and they finally let Tyler Chrisopther's stunt double take over until his arm is better. As professional as Christopher is (on set, at least) he was visibly fighting some serious pain.

Now, I'm off to watch Spin (am half way through it) and the next few episodes.

Don't shoot the messenger. The Holidays tend to keep me busy.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Desert o' Tears

No crying!

Not one soul cried in yesterday's episode!


I still haven't gotten to "Spin" yet so hopefully that will happen today.

As far as keeping everyone updated on GH, there was no Ignacio Servicchio yesterday, either. Plus, Tuesdays are almost always slow.

Jason is in the hospital and ready for surgery. He's only doing it for those who love him. Man, they better be stand up and help him if he needs it. O_O

Sam doesn't cry.

Not once.

However, she does catch Dr. Drake doctoring his coffee with some rot gut.

Best Friend cried out loud, "Well?! So what?! Would you rather he operate with DTs or a nice buzz?!"


Cap laughed up a storm.

Cap is cynical that way.

On the other hand, Sam blows a gasket and they are now bringing in yet another guy to do the surgery. I hope this isn't the end of Drake's cameo because I heart him even though he still looks like Keith Richards on a bender.

On a very nice note, Monica Quartermaine came in to tell her son she loves him and for the first time that I know of he called her Mother rather than Monica.

We had "prayer time" for Alan, his Father, in the chapel and then a nice raprochement between the two of them.

And, really, aside from some "Carly is taking over some Quartermaine subsidiary and returning her controlling stock" stuff that was it.

Oh, and Nancy Lee Grahn as Alexis and Rick Hearst as Ric Lansing (married couple with new baby) have crazy mad chemistry. Whooda thunk?

Monday, December 05, 2005

Cry me a River

My GOD the people on GH cry a lot. Jason cried 'cause Sonny said good bye to him and got in the TARDIS to get back to Port Charles leaving him with The Smallest Teardrop. (All three teared up before the scene was over.)

Dr. Noah Drake made Little Doctor Robin cry because, in his crash pad, he looked at Jason's xrays (via a dim bulb in his floor lamp) and said, "My GOD, this man should be dead already!" and then refused to help him.


That's four people crying in a one hour show. I mean, serious crying.

I'm gettin' kinda numb to it.

Robin cleaned up the drunken Dr. Drake and he transformed from a duckling (no offense to ducks and no reference to our ducklings) to a swan. What began as Keith Richards blossomed into our Old(er) Dr. Noah. Very nice, Mr. Springfield. Sure, you're older, but aren't we all?

Now, since it's snowing outside, I'm on my way to watch Spin and maybe more.

Keep fingers crossed that there are more GH references?

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Walking on Broken Glass: But in a Good Way!

Day off from GH.

Nothing to see here, folks.

Move on.

Except that I'm in the mood to watch the "Diva" Annie Lennox DVD and guess who should grace my screen?

With John Malkovich, no less.

Guess they really do know each other.

Maybe a guest appearance on House is a possibility?

That would ROCK.

PS: It helps to have the link read "" rather than "". Freud strikes again.

Notes and Comment

GH today was less intense than usual but the nice thing is that everyone turned in a great performance, again.

But why didn't I think of this before?

Set up by Jax's manipulation of the meddling Elizabeth, "Um"ily and Prince Nikolas meet at Wyndemere at night in the gardens. They finally hash out their recent horrible past but there is really no conclusion to where their relationship stands. Is it twoo wuv or is it just friends?

"Um" ily runs around protesting too much to both conspirators, Jax and Elizabeth.

Being a dick, Jax refuses to pay the most sexy scumbag on Earth (well, almost the most sexy scumbag on Earth) to take photos of the Prince and his Princess schmoozin' on the cliffs of Wyndemere.

Honestly, Jax. The guy did his job. You're a freakin' billionaire and you won't pay him for doing what you asked.

You suck.


As my Best Friend predicted, in a moment of BF's not-uncommon genius, Carly gets the Quartermaine controlling ELQ shares out of her estranged husband, Lorrrrrrrrrrenzo Alcazar. Her uncle Luke (yes, that Luke) who has never given her the time of day, expects her to give him the shares. She refuses and will keep them to herself. hee

As BF would say, "That's Carly."


Sonny flies in the magic morphing TARDIS from Port Charles to Hawaii in about 15 minutes and arrives just in time to tell Jason (after a HUGE scotch, neat) that he needs to do the treatment.

Sam, the Weepster cries again.


Jason finally agrees as long as Sonny agrees to kill him if he's a vegetable after the surgery.

Sonny does so.

For once the horrid writers on this show played a great and unexpected card.

Ya know? One thing this show does great? Sonny and Jason talking together. I love it. Really. I know I'm probably in the minority. But it just works.

It just does.


Little Doctor Robin goes in search of the only doctor in the world who will take on Jason's highly dangerous brain surgery and discovers a highly drunk Dr. Noah Drake.


And on THAT note, I'll dive into a House/GH/Colbert Report meeting of the minds.

Hard to imagine, ain't it?!

Check it OUT!

Way back on Thursday, December 1st, the NYT had a FULL below the fold story about the singer Rick Springfield returning to GH to reprise the role of the inimitable Dr. Noah Drake.

Stephen Colbert (spinoff anchorman of the faux news show "The Daily Report" by Jon Stewart) thought that was so funny that he did an entire report on it. He was freakin' hilarious.

Then, THEN, my little heart (anemic because of the GH/House connection dearth) went pitter pat because there was a later flash of a "back from commercial" banner that read something along the lines of "The actor who plays House is English but he plays an American because you can mess with British Doctors. But no one messes with Doctor House."

I suprised Best Friend with both of these today and she laughed so hard she choked. We had to rewind the splash page.


Thursday, December 01, 2005

Love Means Never Having to Stop Crying

My GOD. She's crying again.

How can Kelly Monaco keep this up?

Now Jason and Sam have returned to Maui and suddenly she's in tears. Do you think she stopped for a moment on the flight over?

Holy Mother.

Oh. Silly me. She thinks that because the medication didn't work and Jason has declined the very dangerous surgery, he's gonna die.

Okay then.

That's a good reason to cry.

(How did I miss that? If Best Friend is reading, she doesn't need to answer that question. hee)

But, really. Poor little Kelly Monaco has been crying non-stop since her character got involved with Jason.

Then again, some would say that that's a good reason to cry.

(By the way, I do feel it's necessary that I make the shallow fashion statement that Jason, played by Steve "The Last Castle" with Robert Redford and James Gandolfini and then Steven Speilberg's "Taken" Burton is getting very chunky. No wonder he won't do sex scenes. He can barely sit down, his arms are like tree trunks, his tummy is protruding and he has a double chin. Steve. I love you. I do. But really. You're an actor and a supposed love interest on a soap opera. Quit with the steroids. Or the Tostitos and Cheeze Whiz. Or both. Wow.)

Weepy Weeps-a-Lot actually stops for about 10 minutes of airtime but by the time we come back from commerical she's crying again. Lord have mercy upon my soul.

Anyway, she talks Jason into giving her a child.

They shuffle off to bed.

(Thank GOD there's no hint of any on-air nudity. See shallow complaint above.)

According to previews for tomorrow, though, Sam's sexual prowess knocks Jason unconscious.

That is just so funny it shouldn't be legal.



I'll regain my composure.

Now I know why House loves this stuff so much.



Georgie talks Diego down from his self-destruction and he's taken into custody.

First of all, Georgie's lines were awesome, made sense and she delivered them like the professional actor she is. Basically she told Diego that she wasn't sure what was worse. That he had done what he did or that he convinced himself he was justified. Then she based her support of him on the fact that they had once been friends.

Very cool.

IS was fabulous as the trapped and failed Diego. While in the detention room of the PCPD, he burst into tears when his father, Lorenzo, asked for another chance to be a good father to him. They hugged.

I teared up.

Awwwwwww. Way to go, IS!


The ever controlling idiot that is Jax and the meddling busybody that is Elizabeth, rig it so that Emily and Nikolas meet at night on the grounds of Wyndemere. It could have been romantic except that, well, it's Emily. So there's that.

And also, poor Tyler Christopher has seriously messed up his arm and is in a full shoulder to wrist cast. It's a bit distracting but they worked it into the plotline.

Poor harrassed by dick Jax Courtney no longer has to worry about the Evil Helena. Apparently, Nikolas' arm got broken by a run-in with her as he tried to protect his lover and her husband's unborn child. He showed her the papers that prove he's had her committed to an asylum in Switzerland.

Damn that woman spends a lot of time in asylums.

Time is All Relative

Lizzim, on the House Forum at just posted this little timeline analysis about "The Mistake". It's succinct and lovely.

I know this is a House/GH blog but I just thought this was worth the bandwidth.

Hat's off to Lizzim!
>They cleared it up for us quite nicely. Stacy and House fought one month ago. Kayla came in six months ago and we're told that she came in on May 27th (sure about the month, not the day). So it's end of November now and we first met Steve McQueen around Halloween. Which has the added benefit of rhyming.<

(Published with Lizzim's permission.)

My Eyes Are Bleeding

I wish I could say "My Eyes Have Seen the Glory" but after being subjected to that disgusting dream-kiss between Emily and Sonny AGAIN, I had to go get kleenex to wipe up the blood tears.







Ahem. Anyway. Ignacio Servicchio (I finally learnt how to spell that child's name!) is still exiting the show (via stage left at the moment.)

He's kidnapped young Georgie and is being hunted down by the other teenybots. Everyone is turning in terrific performances. IS has finally livened up his style and is actually exuding some sexual chemistry.

Georgie (Lindze Leatherman) is getting all "Stockholm" on us 'cause she feels guilty about causing Diego's rampage.

Allow me to explain. During the summer, TIIC turn up the heat on the teenybots to try and lure unsuspecting real live teenybots (who are home on summer break) to tune in, turn on and whatever else it was that Timothy Leary was babbling about.

This past summer, a relatively minor teenaged character named Sage* arrived on the canvas and turned out to be Alcazar's neice. Although he was devoted to her, she was actually kind of a "misunderstood" entitled bitch.

(*I just called her "Herb", with an "aytch" 'cause, as Eddie Izzard would say, "There's a f--kin' H in it.")

Because of this attitude, the other teenybots had a hard time assimilating her into the clan. (By other teenybots, I mean Maxie, Georgie, (those two are sisters), Georgie's incredible boyfriend Dillon Quartermaine, Brooke Lynn Ashton and (sometimes) Gay Lucas Spencer.)

While TIIC were busy re-using the literary technique of Character Assassination on Nikolas' Twin Connor's Crazy Wife, Mary......they got the bright idea to have her become.......

wait for it



Surely NOT!

Still with me?

You'll find these plotlines can be amazingly repeated and repeated so this should all sound familiar.

Georgie, being a bit spiteful and out of character, locked Sage in the Quartermaine's room-sized basement freezer. (She was jealous that Sage had taken Dillon's virginity before she had a chance to.)

Crazy Stalker Mary then morphed into Crazy Slasher Mary and she slashed the hell out of Sage.

Exit Sage.

(Also exit Mary but that's not the point at the moment.)

So, to bring us up to date, Georgie feels guilty about the whole freezer incident and Diego has made it clear that even though he wasn't on the show and had nothing to do with the Sage plotline, he's been stalking the teenybots just to avenge his cousin whom he never met.

Trust me. Just run with it.

The cool (but kinda sad) thing is that Diego, while holding Georgie at gunpoint, is seriously exuding some sex appeal and Georgie has sparks of her own flyin'.

Poor Diego.

(I'm wondering if Mr. Laurie might've given him some fatherly, uh, acting tips during "Humpty Dumpty". 'Cause until these past few episodes of GH, he's needed 'em.)

At the last second, we see Georgie grab Dillon's cell phone that had fallen to the ground. So, believe it or not, there's hope.

For her.

For Diego? Not so much.


Carly, still in RoseLawn for gawd's sake, read Sonny the riot act and finally called him on his crappy treatment of women. I believe the word she used was "poison".



I'm sure it won't last. *sigh*


Jason and Sam continue to have their tearful reunion in the hospital room. Little Doctor Robin isn't all that thrilled with the test results but Jason is ready to get the heck outta there. Weepy McWeepster continues to cry. God. I'm not sure whether it's from joy or from exhaustion. Possibly, by this time, it's just agonizing boredom.


That really about covers it. There was some Lulu Spencer vs. The Quartermaines stuff and I can always talk about costumes (Skye, really lovely at the moment but usually looks like she's wearing the curtains and Carly in some horrific gold and wool blouse without a bra on under it......) or, lighting and makeup but Wednesday's are long enough.


Lastly, if you get a chance to see last night's Colbert Report (Comedy Central; today's repeats are at 1430 and 2030 EST), he did a whole clip on the fact that the New York Times had a full article on the return of Rick Springfield as Dr. Noah Drake. I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard it's hilarious.