Friday, January 20, 2006

Catching Up is Fun to Do!

Lame title, I know. Sorry.

Nothing much is going on in the House/GH crossover world right now given that we're on yet another hiatus. (I'm not complaining because I know the FarScape dudes had it much worse than we do...with hiatus-es and everything---but, damn, I'm ready for Stacy-of-the-Plastic-Face to make her exit so we can get on with life.)

Speaking of soap operas, GH kicked into a little bit of a higher gear yesterday so I'll summarize.

In a really toxic mess of unlimited stupidity, Emily & Sonny (a birthday dinner for the Pwincess of Um), Courtney & Nikolas (she very hormonal and pregnant) and Jax & Carly (co-owners and supervising the place) all end up in the dining room of the MetroCourt together.

(Are they, please, going to change the stupid name of the hotel? Pretty please?)

Carly and Jax just giggle as the sparks start to fly. (Carly's motivation here is a bit of a chess game...she wants Nikolas and Courtney to break up so that Nikolas can go back to Emily..thereby freeing up Sonny for her, Carly, to swoop down upon and reclaim as her own. Jax wants all of this to happen solely because he wants Courtney back so they can have their child together.)

Nikolas can't take his eyes off of Umily. Sonny couldn't care less. Umily is nervous and goofy. Because she's a CHILD, you pedophile. GAH. Sonny makes my skin crawl. ANYway, Courtney gets all hormonal and makes a huge scene and leaves the hotel.

Carly (see above motivations) convinces Courtney that it is time to split town until the lump is born. Courtney agrees but not after a showdown with "Um" ily who does smack her down, stops "umming" for 5 seconds and doesn't point her pointy nasty fingers with the horrible silk wrap French manicure at Courtney which is this actress' usual choices for mannerisms during angry outbursts.

It was quite good and a bit refreshing to see her capable of good acting for a moment but I'd sure sue the manicurist.

Courtney writes two fairwell to Jax and one to Nikolas....While she's out doing some convenient plot contrivance (we find out in a sec), Jax comes in and finds the letters. Because he's a dick, he reads both of them even though one is not addressed to him. GAH. He makes me sick.

Then, Courtney is in the park at night, AGAIN, and meets up with a despondant Nikolas. She smacks him down and breaks up with him.

Jax is the next to lay into poor Nikolas.

Remember that scene in Airplane! where the people line up to slap the nun? Yeah. Like that.

Courtney ends up in South Carolina in a rented house (hee) (sorry) that Carly set up for her. Next thing you know, she's kidnapped and chained to a cot.

Did I mention the fact that Helena is still slithering around out there? BWAHAHAHA. I'd suggest that I should write this schlock but it's pretty pathetic when you can offend yourself.

Yes, Helena Cassedine has kidnapped Courtney while back in Port Charles the only people who know where she is are Jax and Carly......'cause for some unGodly reason, Carly told him.

Jax, the White Knight (dick) shows up in the SC house and realizes Courtney went....but not without a fight.


In other news, this really pathetically legally challenged show is holding the Manny Ruiz trial. We have insider information that he really is faking his "new leaf" because Sam confronted him about it and he caved. But, her recording cell phone broke and she has no evidence.

Instead, what is going on is that Jason's accident, brain damage and subsequent total change of personality (what Ruiz is trying to capitalize on and duplicate in himself) is more on trial than Ruiz is and Jason isn't even THERE.

GAH. The actor takes a few days off and since he can't be on screen we still have to hear about him and make him the center of attention.


Lastly, and this is just sad, Lucas gets picked up at Jake's (which is ridiculous because it's a dive bar and no one should trust anyone who picks you up from that joint) only to discover the guy is in fact a gay basher who bashes Lucas' head in.

The Scoobies save him and our intrepid Detective Jesse agrees to go undercover and pop the guy himself.

Maxie screws it up and Lucas decides he has to take the situation into his own hands.

He finds Bad Dude back at Jake's and we end with Lucas beating the crap outta the dude with a pool cue.



Ith said...

I remember thinking, what on earth are Brooklynn and Lucas doing at Jake's? Are they even old enough to be in a bar? It's just got the perfect ambiance for a heart to heart talk, doens't it?

1:08 PM  
Cap said...

Yeah, Jake's is the ~perfect~ place to pick up gay dates.

Only NOT.

6:32 PM  

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