What Dr. Cuddy says to House
House (Hugh Laurie) and Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) |
come to an understanding.
2005 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
Credit: Jamie Trublood/FOX
- "Is your yelling designed to scare me because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be scared of. More yelling? That's not scary. That you're gonna hurt me? That's scary, but I'm pretty sure I can out run you." [#101]
- Cuddy: "You don't prescribe medicine based on guesses. At least we don't since Tuskeegee and Mengele."
House: "You're comparing me to a Nazi? Nice.....
I have a legitimate theory about what's wrong with her."
Cuddy: "With no proof."
House: "There's never any proof. Five different doctors come up with five different diagnoses based on the same evidence."[#101]
- Cuddy: "How is it that you always assume you're right?
House: "I don't, I just find it hard to operate on the opposite assumption. And why are you so afraid of making a mistake?"
Cuddy: "Because I'm a doctor. Because when we make mistakes people die." [#101]
- House: "I could run home."
Cuddy (looking at his leg): "No, you couldn't." [#103]
- Cuddy: "...working with people actually makes you a better doctor."
House: "When did I sign up for that course?"
Cuddy: "When did I give you the impression that I care?"
House: "Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion." (he threatens her) "I've got your home number, right? In case anything comes up at 3 o'clock in the morning."
Cuddy: "It's not going to work. You know why? Because this is fun. You think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make you miserable: it's a game! And I'm going to win, because I've got a head start. You are already miserable." [#104]
- House: "See, this is why I dont waste money on shrinks, cause you give me all these really great insights for free."
Cuddy: "Shrink. If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake." [#104]
- Cuddy: "Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic?"
House: "Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog. Ruff ruff ruff, rarr, ruff!" [#117]
- Cuddy (on how she can find him when he is hiding): "I just follow the scent of arrogance." [#117]
- House (objecting to Cuddy having reported his patients to social services): "It was my call."
Cuddy: "You made the wrong one."
House (referring to her kowtowing to Vogler): "You know, there's a new biography of Quisling, I think you might like it."
Cuddy: "Sure. No idea who that is."
House: "Uh, Norwegian guy, World War II, traitor. The fact that I have to explain this kind of takes the edge off my flow."
Cuddy: "I was protecting you." [#118]
- Cuddy: "You are a great doctor, House, but you are not worth $100 million." [#118]
- House (complaining about having to teach a course): "Why is it always me?"
Cuddy: "Because the world hates you. Or because it's a class on diagnostics. Pick whatever reason feeds your narcissism better." [#121]
- Cuddy: "I know you'd rather spend a couple of hours listening to yourself than listening to patients." [#121]
- Stacy coming to talk to House (during a commercial on his soap) about Cuddy: "You know her. She has trouble with these situations, feels personally responsible."
House: "Technical term is narcissism. You can't believe everything is your fault unless you also believe you're all powerful."
Stacy, suggesting that House is more messed up: "Wow, doesn't she sound messed up."
House: "I don't believe I can fix everything. I don't lie awake at night tormented by that fact...."
Stacy: "She cares."
House: "She enjoys feeling guilty."
Stacy: "Lisa cares. It's why she drives you nuts. 'Cause it's not just a puzzle to her. The patients are actually real, their feeling actually relevant...."
House (ending the conversation): "Commercial's over." [#203]
- House (after Stacy has told him "take it easy on her. You owe her that."): "Your guilt. It's perverse, and it makes you a crappy doctor. It also makes you okay at what you do."
Cuddy: "You figure a perverted sense of guilt makes me a good boss?"
House: "Well, would the world be a better place if people never felt guilty? Makes sex better." He points his cane at Stacy, "Should have seen her in the last months of our relationship. Lot of guilt. Lot of screaming." He changes back to the initial subject, "I know this wasn't just because it was your roof. Cuddy. You see the world as it is and you see the world as it could be. What you don't see is what everybody else sees: the giant, gaping chasm in-between."
Cuddy: "House, I'm not naive. I realize—"
House: "If you did, you never would have hired me. You're not happy unless things are just right. Which means two things: you're a good boss and you'll never be happy." He starts to leave and then turns back, "By the way, why does everybody think you and I had sex? Think there could be something to it?" He shudders. [#203]
- What she says to others about House:
- "The son of a bitch is the best doctor we have." [#101]
- "I am the only one that can control him." [#115]
- "He really cares about his patients." [#115]
- Vogler to Cuddy: "He makes you miserable. Eight years he's worked here, never made a dime for you, never listened to you.... You have no idea how many times he's lied to you, undercut your authority, made you look like crap to other doctors."
Cuddy: "Yes, I hate him, and here I am, desperately trying to protect his job. What does that tell you?"
Vogler:" That you don't hate him."
Cuddy: "I do not protect people I like. I protect people who are assets to this hospital." [#115]