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House (Hugh Laurie) challenges a new research doctor (Wendy Makkena) to see whose handicap is more worthy of the special handicap parking space in the HOUSE episode "Needle in a Haystack" airing Tuesday, Feb. 6 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
2006 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX.
Stevie Lipa, a sixteen year old Romani (a group known by many outsiders as Gypsy) boy who has developed short of breath ("respiratory arrest").
The mis-diagnoses
House thinks it is a plumbing problem (leaky pipes). Foreman thinks it is deep vein thrombosis (blood clot). They decide he has both a bleed and a clot. House tells his team, "You guys are still thinking like doctors when you should be thinking like plumbers." Other tests suggest Wegeners.
The privacy invasion / ethical breach
Chase and Cameron go to the address Stevie gave them and it turns out not to be his parents home and they interrupt a couple having illicit sex.
The final diagnosis
Stevie had swallowed a wooden toothpick which had perforated his intestine.
House (Hugh Laurie) and his team treat a patient whose symptoms go from bleeding to clotting in the HOUSE episode "Needle in a Haystack" airing Tuesday, Feb. 6 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
2006 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY Credit: Isabella Vosmikova/FOX.
Cast: Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House; Lisa Edelstein as Dr. Lisa Cuddy; Omar Epps as Dr. Eric Foreman; Robert Sean Leonard as Dr. James Wilson; Jennifer Morrison as Dr. Allison Cameron; Jesse Spencer as Dr. Robert Chase.
Guest Cast: Jake Richardson as Stevie; Rob Brownstein as Franklin; Arabella Field as Judy; Jessy Schram as Leah; Wendy Makkena as Dr. Julie Whitner; Ron Perkins as Dr. Simpson; Hira Ambrosino as Anesthesiologist; Sandra Purpuro as Marina; David Kelsey as Ron; Tasha Taylor as Kate; Tyrace Richardson as Jack; Antonio D. Charity as Police Officer; Joni Barth as Patron #1; Maxine Hayden as Patron #2; Bobbin Bergstrom as Nurse
What about the medicine?
Dr Hodgson, Professor of Surgery:
1. The spleen is in the left upper quadrant, and when it is removed, it comes out OVER the intestines, not under them from the right side. Also, someone should be retracting hard on the left costal margin, because the spleen actually sits way back under the diaphragm on the left. 2. The intestine has a mesentery, which contains the blood supply. It is NOT a long sausage waving in the breeze. The mesentery is attached to the abdominal wall towards the back and runs from the upper left to the lower right. It lies in several folds, and the small bowel hangs off the mesentery in multiple loops.
House has a bet with Cuddy that he can stay in a wheelchair for a week. During this time he runs into Wilson in the men's room "Ah yes. If it isn't Dr. Ironside."
"Ah, if it isn't 'Dr. I Had No Friends When I Was Growing Up So All I Did Was Watch TV By Myself Which Is Why I Can Now Make Constant Pop Culture References Which No One Understands But Me'."
"That's my name. Don't wear it out." Wilson sees that House is about to stand up. "Uh ah."
House sits back, "Safe from Cuddy but I guess not from her trusted rat-complice."
"Reasonable people don't debate the relative merits of their handicaps."
"Reasonable people make rules based on evidence, like difficulty covering a distance say 50 yards. Not some pre-ordained pathetic-ness scale."
"Last I checked, pigheadedness was not the eighth heavenly virtue."
"It's only pigheaded if you're wrong. If you're right, we call it sticking to your principles.
"Give it up. You're demeaning yourself."
"That's what they told Rosa Parks."
When none of the treatments work, House tells his team to try an experimental treatment called FT28 but when Foreman tells the patient's father, he answers, "Absolutely not. My people have been experimented on before. Never again."
"Mr. Lipa, with all due respect, comparing this hospital with Auschweitz is ridiculous. And FT28's been proven safe in hundreds—"
"Why do they always say you can trust them? Why would they say anything else? Why do they think we would listen?"
"Hey, hey, hey. Do you think I don't understand what it's like to come from a people who've been enslaved, mistreated and experimented on? Tuskegee went on for 28 years after World War II."
"And the laws that made it illegal for the Romani to even set foot in this state were still on the books until 1998. It's not ancient history."
Houseism: "...if they don't trust you, you should earn that lack of trust."
Houseism: "Why should I have to answer all the questions?"
House stops Dr. Whitner in the hall to tell her that Cuddy told him he could have his parking place back if he could stay in a wheelchair for a week. "I'm not worried. From what I hear, what you lack in shame, you also lack in willpower."
"My will may be weak but my backbone is strong. And pain-free now that I've stopped using the cane. Of course it's harder to look down Cuddy's shirt. But then the vantage point on her ass is much improved. But then that's just me — always looking on the bright side. I'm the guy who said her C cups are half full."
"They are nice, aren't they?"
"Oh— no, no, no, no, no. You're not going to win me over that easily. You may have a wheel. That doesn't mean you get the grease. You gotta squeak."
House: "You lose your keys, the first thing you do is look everywhere you might logically have placed them. When you don't find them, then you start looking in other places. The medicine cabinet, freezer, mailbox."
Wilson approaches House while House is trying to make sure the patient's parents don't interfere with what Foreman is trying to accomplish. House tells him, "Can't talk now. On guard duty."
"You're still in that thing."
"What thing? Oh this? Forgot it was even there."
"You know, even if you manage not to get struck down by a bold of lightening and make it a week, Cuddy's not going to give you the space. She can't."
"A bet's a bet."
"Yes, and that rule outranks the Americans with Disabilities Act. You think you've got logic on your side. But Whitner's got the legal system. And legal beats logic every time. Just ask OJ."
"You're right."
"I am?"
"Yeah."
"So you're doing this even though you know you've got no legal leg to stand on."
"Who needs legs when you got wheels. I'm gonna get that spot." House, seeing the patient's parents heading for the room where Foreman is treating Stevie, he loudly says something he thinks is sure to stop someone at whom the word "gyp" was originally aimed. "No way Cuddy is going to gyp me."
The patient's father reacts from across the hall, "What'd you say?
House whispers to Wilson as he wheels over to the parents, "I'll see you later. Gonna have them yelling at me for the next 20 minutes."
Foreman tries to help his young patient get ahead since he reads so much science and has so much curiousity. But Stevie decides to stay with his family. Foreman tells him, "Change is hard. Trust me. I know. But it worked out for me."
"You're a successful doctor. Your name is on journal articles. I would love that. It's just, I see you with Drs. Chase and Cameron and you all got empty ring fingers. You're alone."
House tries guilt to get Cuddy to give him back his parking space after he spent a week in the wheelchair except for two minutes when he interrupted an operation. "If you wanna teach me lessons, don't make commitments you can't keep."
Quotations, etc. Copyright Heel & Toe Productions, Bad Hat Harry Productions, et al.
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