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Third Season Episodes ::  #312 "One Day, One Room"

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One Day, One Room
House (Hugh Laurie) makes a connection with a patient
(Katheryn Winnick) who requests that he be her doctor
in the HOUSE episode "One Day, One Room" airing
Tuesday, Jan. 30 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
Credit: Michael Yarish/FOX.
January 30, 2007
Written by:
David Shore
Directed by:
Juan J. Campanella
Song at the end:
After Christmas and still winter (homeless man says it is cold outside, Wilson has full coat and gloves when he follows House to the table by the jogging path).
The patient of the week:
A rape victim who wanted House to help her even though there was nothing to really diagnose. She has an STD and is pregnant. She believes abortion is murder and studied "comparative religion" in college.
How House becomes involved:
She comes to the clinic while House was forced to work two days in the clinic.
The mis-diagnoses:
House doesn't know how to talk to her and gets various advice from co-workers.
The privacy invasion / ethical breach:
House admits a patient with a cockroach in his ear to get out of working in the clinic and then tells his team to run expensive tests.
Season 3 DVD
Season 3 DVD
The final diagnosis:
After House tells the rape victim what happened to him as a child and who really did it, she opens up to him and in talking it out, she decides to terminate the pregnancy.
The clinic patient(s):
Several patients who think they have an STD, the neatnick guy who used toenail clippers to cut the hair inside his nose and had given himself athelitcs foot in his nose and the guy with a cockroach in his ear and there is a little boy who swallowed a magnet that no one can find except House. And Cameron has a clinic patient who is homeless and dying.
One Day, One Room
House (Hugh Laurie) has difficulty finding any bedside manner
with a patient (Katheryn Winnick) who requests that he be
her doctor in the HOUSE episode "One Day, One Room"
airing Tuesday, Jan. 30 (9-10 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
Credit: Michael Yarish/FOX.
Additional information on this episode:
Cast: Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House; Lisa Edelstein as Dr. Lisa Cuddy; Omar Epps as Dr. Eric Foreman; Robert Sean Leonard as Dr. James Wilson; Jennifer Morrison as Dr. Allison Cameron; Jesse Spencer as Dr. Robert Chase.

Guest Cast: Katheryn Winnick as Eve; Geoffrey Lewis as Older Man; Drew Matthews as Kid; Sean Christopher Davis as Father; George Williams as Doctor; Michelle Gardner as Dr. Stone; Todd Sandler as Ear Patient; Roger Ainslie as Nose Patient; Ray Chavez as Sick Patient; Nick Slatkin as Hiccuping Patient; Joel David Moore as College Student; Marco Pelaez as Pharmacist; Randy Evans as Patient #1; Bryna Weiss as Patient #3; Michael Rivkin as Patient #4; Jason Galloway as Patient #5; Hope Shapiro as Patient #6; Kristen Glass as Beautiful Woman; Bobbin Bergstrom as Nurse.

Quotes, Quotations, Dialog, Story:
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    House escapes clinic duty by pretending that he doesn't know what's wrong with a patient. But Cuddy tracks him down. As usual when faced with a difficult situation, House takes a pill and Cuddy is shocked. "Is that Vicodin? ...What happened to rehab?"
    "I got out."
    "Oh! It was a scam? ...You are going back to the clinic. Or jail."
    "You perjured yourself to keep me out of jail...."
    "I only did that because I thought you were getting clean."
    "So, it's do clinic duty or go to jail?"
    "Then it will be finish your paperwork or go to jail. Help with fundraising or go to jail. Do your job or go to jail. I think I'd rather go to jail."
    "You owe me." And in the next scene, House is back doing clinic duty.
  • House keeps trying to find a way out of clinic duty. Cuddy asks him, "How can we make this more interesting for you?"
    "How can we make the sky green.? How can we make the tall short? You cannot make the uninteresting interesting."
    "I'll pay you $10 for every patient you diagnose without touching them. You pay me $10 for every one you have to touch."
    "You're making this into a game for me. From which I can only conclude that this isn't a game for you.... Why? You think if I deal with enough people, I'll find some humanity?"
  • His first few clinic patients of the day were tested for STDs and the tests are back. He asks the first one who says he is 30, "How do you get to 30 and not know about condoms.... Every patient who comes in here for an STD test has one thing in common. They had SWS: Sex While Stupid." But on the third one he goes to Cuddy suggesting another doctor, "She's been raped. You think I'm the right doctor for her?" Cuddy agrees that he isn't sensitive enough but the patient wants to be treated by him and when she is turned over to a counselor, she overdoes on pills.
  • Cuddy tries to figure out whether House cares about this rape victim. "If I were to care about every person suffering on the planet, life would shut down."
    "How about just the ones we meet?"
    "They deserve our sympathy more than the other people?"
    "So your solutions is not to care a damn about any of them. How do you do that? How do you take that theory and put it in practice."
  • House doesn't know how to answer his patient's question: "Has anything bad ever happened to you?" So he asks his colleagues.
    Wilson tells him:
    "Tell her the truth."
    "There is no truth."
    Wilson thinks about this for a moment. "Are we role playing? Am I you? I don't want to be you."
    "She's not asking for test results. She's not asking what two plus two equals. She's asking for my personal life experience so she can extrapolate to all humanity. That's not truth. That's bad science."
    "It's not science at all. Tell her the truth."
    Cameron gives him the opposite advice, "Tell her your life has been good."
    "It hasn't been."
    "Tell her anyway. She wants hope. She wants to know that what happened to her wasn't the norm that things can be okay which means maybe they can be okay for her again."
    Foreman has the opposite opinion, "Tell her your life sucked."
    "It didn't."
    "Tell her anyway. She wants to know she's not alone. She wants to know she's going to survive this thing. Other people have been through this and worse and come out the other end. She wants to know she's going to heal. Act like you're healed."
    Chase isn't so sure and since House has given her a sedative, Chase tells him, "Keep her asleep."
    "Thanks. You've all been a huge help."
    "There's no wrong answer because there's no right answer."
    "Wrong. We just don't know what the right answer is."
    House takes Wilson's advice, sort of and tells her a true story with the names changed to protect the guilty. For this story and many other quotes from this episode, see the page on House.
  • When he tells the rape victim that she is pregnant, she tells him, "Abortion is murder."
    "True. It's a life and you should end it."
    "Every life is sacred."
    "Come on. Talk to me. Don't quote me bumper stickers."
    "It's true."
    "It's meaningless."
    "It means that every life matters to God."
    "Not to me. Not to you. Judging by the number of natural disasters, not to God either."
    "You're just being argumentative."
    "Yeah. I do do that. What about Hitler? Was his life sacred to God? Father of your child. Is his life sacred to you?"
    "My child isn't Hitler."
    "Either every life is sacred or—"
    "Stop it! I don't want to chat about philosophy."
    "You're not killing your rape baby because of a philosophy."
    "It's murder. I'm against it. You for it?"
    "Not as a general rule."
    "Just for unborn children?"
    "Yes. The problem with exceptions to rules is the line-drawing. It might make sense for us to kill the ass that did this to you. I mean, where do we draw the line? Which asses do we get to kill and which asses get to keep on being asses." The nice thing about the abortion debate is that we can quibble over trimesters but ultimately, there's a nice clean line: birth. Morally there isn't a lot of difference. Practically, huge."
    "You're enjoying this conversation."
    "This is the type of conversation I do well."
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    House tells his patient, "I'm evil."
    "Evil people don't say they're evil."
    "That sounds like an easy loophole. People can do good things. But if their instincts are not good either God doesn't exist or he is unimaginably cruel.... If you believe in eternity then life is irrelevant. The same as a bug is irrelevant in comparison to the universe."
    "If you don't believe in eternity then what you do here is irrelevant."
    "You're actions here are all that matters."
    "Then nothing matters. There's no ultimate consequences. I couldn't live like that.... I need to know that it all means something. I need that comfort."
    "Yeah. Are you feeling comfortable? You feeling good right now. You feel warm inside?"
    "I was raped. What's your excuse?" Later she asks House, "Do you think the guy who did this to me feels bad?"
    "That's help you? It'll make you feel better?"
    "Why do you always do that? Ask why I'm asking questions instead of just answering the question?"
    "Because the answer doesn't interest me. I don't care what he's feeling. I'm interested in what you're feeling."
For more quotes from this episode, see the page on House.
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For an Overview of the music in each episode of the third season, see our Third Season Music Overview page.


Quotations, etc. Copyright Heel & Toe Productions, Bad Hat Harry Productions, et al.
Pictures from the show copyright Fox Broadcasting Corporation
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