The team (Jennifer Morrison, Jesse Spencer, Omar Epps) and Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) treat a patient with symptoms resembling
Gulf War Syndrome in the HOUSE episode "Top Secret" airing Tuesday, March 27 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
©2007 FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
Credit: Greg Gayne/FOX.
- March 27, 2007
- Written by
- Thomas L. Moran
- Directed by
- Deran Sarafian
- The patient of the week
- Ex-marine who thinks he has gulf war syndrome because he has unexplained fatigue, rashes and joint pain. This patient turns up in a dream House has before the patient is given him even though House has no memory of ever having seen him before.
- The mis-diagnoses
- Some of the things they suspect, test for or try to treat include, autoimmune diseases, lymphoma, tumors in the brain, amd infections.
- The privacy invasion / ethical breach
- Chase and Cameron leave their post watching the patient to go into another room to have sex.
- The final diagnosis
- Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia, a genetic disease that destroys the patients capillaries. The problems caused by this can be fixed with a few surgeries.
- The clinic patient(s)
- A woman comes in wanting a prescription for The Pill. She tells House her therapist says she has OCD because she drinks water all the time including getting up in the middle of the night to drink. House deduces that she has diabetes insipidus due to an accident on a balance beam.
- Major Incidents, Revelations
- House walks in on Chase and Cameron in "foreplay" in the closet.
- House's Vicodin use is causing medical problems.
- Cuddy mentions a date with House two years ago and House refers to having sex with her then.
- Quotes, Quotations, Dialogue:
- House tells Wilson that he dreamed about his new patient before he ever saw him. They are in front of urinals discussing it. "I can play the harmonica with my nose, make a penny come out of a child's ear, or any other orifice for that matter, and under the right circumstances I could bring two women into simultaneous ecstasy."
"The right circumstance being their agreement to bill you on the same credit card."
"What I absolutely cannot do is dream about someone I've never seen before."
"Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean it can't happen."
"True, it can't happen because it can't happen!"
"Well maybe you didn't dream about this guy specifically."
"Right, just some other guy who looks exactly like him."
"No, you imagined some generic Marine then you placed his face in the dream after you saw the picture. Sort of a coincidence mixed with a little déjàvu."
"There's no record of him ever coming into the clinic so I must have seen him before somewhere else."
Wilson isn't buying it, "Fine, you've known him since Cub Scouts. The more interesting question isn't what you dreamed but why? I'm guessing you're longing for either a renewed relationship with your dad or a new relationship with one of the Village People."
"He was in the Navy not the Marines."
"I thought your dad was in the Marines?"
"The guy in the Village People."
"Actually he's only in the Navy when they sang, In The Navy. The rest of the time he's just in generic fatigues." When House looks at him strangely, Wilson gets self-conscious of his knowledge of The Village People. "What? You brought it up!"
- Since House doesn't believe in Gulf War Syndrome, Foreman asks him, "Why'd you take this case?"
"Because a good scientist continually questions his own theories and assumptions."
Cameron translates that, "Cuddy's making him."
"Now I'm making you."
- While discussing why House is asking them to check odd things about the patient, Foreman asks Cameron and Chase were they were when they were supposed to be watching the patient sleep. "Where were you two when the guy woke up?"
Chase hesitantly tells him, "We just stepped out for a second."
"To do what?"
"To get a coffee. We'd been up most of the night."
Cameron changes the subject back to wondering about House, "He's just pushing to make sure we get a complete history, obviously we're missing something or we'd have the answer."
Foreman sticks to his questions about where they were, "You didn't have any coffee when you came back."
Cameron then steps in to end the questions, "All right already. We confess. You caught us. We snuck into one of the sleep lab rooms to have sex. We shouldn't have done it while we were supposed to be working and we're sorry. Now can we move on?"
Foreman doesn't believe her and laughs, "House'll do Wilson before you do Chase."
"No you would do House and Wilson before I do Chase. Now can we get back to work?"
Chase isn't pleased about the direction this is taking and he tells Foreman, "She did me once."
Foreman laughs at him, "She was stoned!"
- House and Wilson are talking about the patient, who House has told Wilson he saw in his dream before seeing the patient's file when House tells Wilson, "I need a prescription."
"I just wrote you a prescription."
"For Vicodin. I need alfuzosin."
"No you don't. Have you figured out where you met your Marine?"
"What? Oh that. Haven't really thought about it." House changes his tone to admit, "I can't pee."
"You can't remember him can you?"
"I can't pee."
"So stop taking the Vicodin."
"I wanna pee and not be in pain."
"Why don't you go to sleep?"
"I don't pee when I'm asleep."
"Maybe you'll dream about him again and maybe he'll give you an address."
"I haven't peed in three days."
"I read that REM sleep is the brains way of working out problems."
"Very useful. Did you hear what I just said?"
"Yeah you lied because you want to avoid talking about your obsession."
"I'm not obsessing."
"Why don't you just ask him?"
House shouts out, "I haven't peed in three days!"
"You'd be dead."
"I'm not counting intermittent drips."
"You'd be in agony."
"I passed agony yesterday around 4:00." Wilson is disgusted with House but he writes the prescription.
- Chase confronts Cameron about what she told Foreman, "What did you want me to tell him? The truth?"
"No. You didn't have to be so convincing."
"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you."
"This is getting out of control."
"Our patient woke up with an infection while we were getting our rocks off."
"Do you want to stop?"
"No. But uh, I don't want to get caught either."
"You think I do?"
"You certainly didn't go out of your way to keep the volume down when we were in the sleep lab."
"I couldn't help that. Why would I want to get caught?"
"Maybe you wanna give House a reason to be jealous?"
"I'm over House. All this is, is uncomplicated sex, don't try to make it more than that."
"We're not doing it at work anymore."
"Fine." After a moment, Cameron looks back at Chase and suggestively asks, "Wanna to go grab some lunch?"
- Wilson sees that House has solved his medical problem, "Oh, looks like solving the case, solved your other problem.
"There is no medicine like happiness, except maybe laughter, or rubber tubes shoved up your urethra."
"You cathed yourself?"
"It's actually not that bad after the first— I don't know, 9 or 10 inches. Cath relieved the spasm. I'm as good as new."
"Of course, just a minor spasm in a muscle you've been using multiple times a day without any problem for the past 45 years. Not a major side effect caused by the overuse of a particular narcotic painkiller."
"Yeah that was my thought too."
"So, no reason to think about cutting back on your use of that particular pill."
"Thank god. Actually it was a triple dose of the good stuff that allowed me to finally get some sleep and solve the case. The pills made all my dreams come true."
"You really got the answer in your sleep?"
"I got one in my sleep, the other one I got in the shower."
- House has remembered why he dreamed about the Marine before he became his patient. He had seen him before. He confronts Cuddy, "I've been thinking about you. You lied.
"I didn't lie, I simply chose not to share completely irrelevant facts.
"Like the fact that you lied. No wonder I couldn't place his face. You were practically swallowing it on the dance floor.
"I was not.
"Talk about the cool uncle, he donates the money while the nephew gets the write off. Of course by write off I mean he gets to put your ankles...
"This is exactly why I didn't mention our one date over two years ago. Because you are an obnoxious ass. Because you would've spent the whole time.
"That's very smart, because this way I spent my whole time completely focused on the patient.
"How did you even remember him? We were only at that party for like 10 minutes.
"What is this some new health plan? You service the Dean of Medicine and you get free health care for a year? Why are you smiling?
"You remembered him because he made out with me.
"I'm good with faces. So this plan, is it open to anyone? Is there a co-pay?
"You're lousy with faces.
"Don't make this about me, this is your humiliation. So how much for private room coverage?
"Get over me."
"Oh give me a break. You hired me...
"Because you're a good doctor who couldn't get himself hired at a blood bank so I got you cheap.
"You gave me everything I asked for because one night I gave you everything you—
"Stop staring at my ass when you think I'm not looking, showing up at restaurants where I happen to be on a date and fantasising about me in the shower. That ship sailed long ago House. Get over it." Cuddy walks away from him.
"If your still referring to you ass I think that super tanker sailed would be a more precise metaphor."